for jollyboat: anywhere you go

[whisted]

He doesn't quite fit.

Horatio had known, of course, that he wouldn't. Even if he had managed to make his way onto a ship years ago, everyone would have known he was odd. Perhaps it's for the best that he's clearly just a bit skittish, just a bit uncertain of himself unlike the other young men his age. Perhaps that would distract the human mind from looking to see just why, exactly, this one didn't seem to be quite entirely right.

It was, nonetheless, one thing to know and another thing to live. Being bundled in heavy unfamiliar fabric is surprisingly uncomfortable. The uniform is far more restrictive than the clothing he had forced himself to become accustomed to while hovering around the port. The sensation of being on a boat, despite the familiarity of the sea, is throwing his stomach through something of a loop. He can't shift and change direction. He can't twist along with the waves, comfortable and easy, or cut through below the discomfort of breakers tugging in the wrong direction. It's unnatural, here on a warped version of the surface. It's twisting something uncomfortable in his shoulders, almost dizzying as he tries to find his feet under him.

This is what he wanted, and it doesn't quite fit.

For the most part, feeling his skin in the sack slung over his shoulders is reassuring. His fingers can worry against the familiar softness with each odd rush of discomfort. This, after all, is the back-up plan. This is the fail-safe if everything falls completely to pieces and he needs to throw himself simply back into the sea. This is the piece of himself which will always fit properly, no matter where he is.

That's why it's resting at the top of his sack as he scrambles up properly into the ship. That's why, in the bluster of humanity, the young selkie doesn't notice that his skin has spilled out onto the deck.

Comments

[midship]

Thankfully, the first thing that pops into Horatio's mind is in a language the pup doesn't understand. It's good, now and then, to have a moment to reflect through an impulsive wave of anger.

His breath comes in a tuneless hum as he simply nods, pulling out his own skin to begin gently unrolling it.

"Take a deep breath, then."

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

"Okay."

So he's going to take a deep breath (and then another) before carefully starting to unroll his own skin.

[midship]

"The hardest part, the first few times, is not being... patient."

Horatio still remembers his own first few times back and forth. Sliding back and forth looked so natural when his father did it, but it always felt just on the edge of not happening those first few times stumbling through on his own.

"Your soul knows this. You have to trust that."

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

"Y'promise?"

Because he can't help but be a little nervous about it all.

[midship]

"I promise, Elliot."

Another deep breath, and with a flicker of absolute relaxation, Horatio melts fully into his skin. The process happens in nearly the blink of an eye after this many years, his human form practically dissolving in on itself the moment it leans into his skin. For a moment the selkie huffs at the beach, the waves, the pup beside him, and then with slightly more of a tug, Horatio's long human limbs melt back into existence.

"It's-- part of us."

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

Oh. That's astonishing. That has him looking entirely awed at Horatio for a moment. It's the first time he's ever seen the change, after all.

"'s-- amazing."

[midship]

"It's you."

Hopefully repeating it helps. Horatio remember needing to have it affirmed, again and again.

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

“It’s me.”

It’s a little more confident, this time. He’s properly shaken out his skin now and is studying it with only a hint of trepidation.

“I just— relax into it?”

[midship]

"Aye." The slight stretch of Horatio's neck now is certainly relaxed. "It can help to look out at the sea, sometimes."

It's calming to those who had come from the sea--but then, Elliot had as well. He'd just never been home yet.

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

"'ll right."

So he's going to be carefully draping his skin around himself. He's going to be staring out at the sea with a deep sense of longing.

He's still far too uncertain and anxious for it to work, but there's definitely a feeling of something as he tucks his skin more properly around himself.

[midship]

This would be the time to huff and nip. This would be the time to nudge and yip and call out the old things that lived in their bones.

But this one doesn't need that yet. This one needs something else.

"That's it." His voice is soft, almost distant. "Keep breathing."

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

"Okay."

So he keeps staring at the sea. He tries to keep his breathing steady as best he can.

The minutes tick by, and he can't help but look a little fretfully at Horatio as they drag on.

[midship]

"You're all right."

It's a simple sort of truth. It comes with the edge of a proper little smile, something utterly at ease in the back of Horatio's throat.

"You are, Elliot. Keep at it."

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

"'s it-- working?"

He can't help but sound uncertain, even if Horatio sounds more sure about it.

[midship]

"It is, /youngling/. Trust yourself."

A little nudge might help all the same. Horatio moves as slowly as he can manage to begin shifting closer.

[meonmyway2stealurgirl]

The nerves are largely just because Elliot isn’t sure of himself. That means Horatio will be allowed to creep closer— so long as he sticks to a slower pace like this.

“I just— breathe.”

He’s trying to keep the advice in mind. He’s not entirely succeeding, but he’s trying.

[midship]

His breath comes in a brief sort of hum as he finally settled closer to the young selkie.

"And take a break, hm, if it gets tiring. It can, the first few times."

Usually going the other way, but this was special circumstances.